I have a struggle.
It is a deep, deep struggle.
My struggle is with knee-length skirts.
Please, let me explain.
God took me on a life adventure that landed me smack dab in the middle of a Christian college campus. Rooted up out of a land where my peers were 'party-hardy-ing', all I wanted to do was snuggle up in a knee-length skirt and become the perfect Christian. I'll admit, I was a little scarred by my Big University Life Experiences. Mainly the ones that involved excesses of vomit and very few friends. I was lonely and depressed, so I gladly frolicked off to the Bible college when God called me out of the mess I was in.
You may be able to imagine how high my expectations had become. After Christmas, I went off to a Christian college where I could comfortably grow closer to God at a time when I was struggling to stay afloat. Or so I thought.
When I arrived, there were knee-length skirts everywhere. I didn't notice at first because I kept my head down for the first few days and tried to blend in. I started to notice them gradually. On Sundays, they were everywhere.
To me, knee-length skirts became a symbol of blending in to the Christian culture. I thought that because it was Christian culture, it was probably okay to blend in. Besides, I wanted to forget how lonely and depressed I felt. I spent some time trying to do just that. If I went to Bible class, sat through chapel, made it to Bible study, dressed a certain way, and listened to some Christian music, I was going to be alright. The problem was that I wasn't a knee-length skirt kind of person and God isn't a blend-into-your-culture kind of guy.
God didn't let me cruise along in mediocrity. I slowly learned that doing the basics required of me at Christian college was not going draw me closer to Him. I was still lonely and depressed after all this effort to blend in. God began to show me something great. Reading the Bible was about getting to know God more intimately rather than to get a good grade on a quiz. Going to chapel was about worshiping God with my whole self through music and preaching rather than to avoid a fine. Participating in Bible study was about growing in community and accountability rather than pleasing my peers. When I was blending in, I wasn't giving God the glory he deserves. God used my assumptions about knee-length skirts to change my heart. He showed me that blending into a culture, even if it is a 'Christian' culture, will not magically draw me closer to him. I had to be real and trust God with the rest. When I finally focused my attention on God, he was able to grow me more into who he desires for me to be.
Knee-length skirts will always be an important struggle for us.
God does not want us to fake our love for him.
We were being totally fake.
And we are sorry for being fake.
God wants us to pursue him fully, with our entire being.
So, we will pursue him.
We must be totally real.
Totally open.
Totally honest.
And along the way we will struggle with knee-length skirts.
What have you relied on other than God to sustain you? Where did it lead you in life? How has God made you more dependent on him through it?
Ashton Miller - Winona Lake, IN
"I am a no-longer-teenage twenty year old who is studying Youth Ministry and Counseling at Grace College and Theological Seminary. I write to process what I can't figure out, I ride my bike to feel like a butterfly, and I play guitar and sing to express what I can't say. I have a great passion for the poor, lonely, and oppressed. This is currently enunciated through a brand new local homeless ministry led by my best friend and I. In two years, my greatest dream is to move to France with my soonish-to-be husband, Travis. God has laid on my heart a burden for the French. My greatest hope for today is that God will use these words and thoughts to glorify Himself."